Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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