You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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