I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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