Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
