i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
