Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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