Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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