I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I love you.
Bad choice
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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