i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize