shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
