hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
