Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
