Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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