Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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