I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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