Michael Bay diarrhea
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
