Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
