South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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