just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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