Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
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Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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