i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
