Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my sisters under your porch take her home
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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