i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize