Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
