dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
