no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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