Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
