chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
