what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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