Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
