ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
