I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
