the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
