last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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