i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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