If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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