my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
