We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
