I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.