well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
