we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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