it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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