Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
