I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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