I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
