just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
