i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
