summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
