Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
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Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
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He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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