this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
