I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
