this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
