It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
