You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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