I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she told me i tasted like america
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
