I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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