The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he shaved USA in his pubs
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
