is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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