when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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