i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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